Baby classes

Julie and I began our baby classes last night at the local hospital. I am again struck with respect and reverence for her, and for my Mom, and for all of those women who, to steal from Look Who’s Talking, squeeze something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lemon.

After my friend Ryan Clark’s award-winning facebook alerts from he and his wife’s baby classes, I had high hopes for hilarity. There wasn’t overly much. I was impressed when our instructor told us a story of going to the hospital once just before birth, thinking her water broke, but finding out that she had peed her bed instead. I also was struck by the name of a rather disgusting gynecological phenomenon called “Bloody Show”. I was struck because I think it’s an awesome name for a bad rock band. Preferrably an English one.

Next week, I get to see two births on video. The thought did cross my mind that this is God’s revenge on me for every not-at-all-safe-for-children movie moment I’ve ever viewed. The second thought that crossed my mind was wondering what poor woman consented to allow vast rooms of people to watch movies of her naughty bits in all their raging birth-giving glory. I have respect and reverence for her too.

I’ll keep everyone posted. We’re down to approximately T minus 14 weeks for the arrival of my daughter. Which still sounds almost as odd to me as the idea of watching two women give birth next Tuesday. Ah well, it’s a new era. Or if not, it will be on Tuesday.

Joe