Baby Class IV

I know, I was in the midst of writing about books and along came baby class.

The 4th edition was hampered by technological failure which prevented us from viewing a C-section birth. I wasn’t entirely sad about that, except that hearing about it without seeing it probably makes it seem even worse than it actually is.

They did split us into groups and let the women go look at the new babies, while the men were warned that their wives/girlfriends/lady friends etc, would be irritable and cranky, in pain, sleepless from breastfeeding, hormonal, difficult to deal with, etc etc etc. Actually only some of that is true. George, the male nurse who handled the class, was very helpful and candid.

All of this has been somewhat outweighed by Crib Gate, the name I’m giving to our scandalous efforts to find and buy a decent crib for less than the gross profit of a third world nation. Pretty much each day has brought its own ideas and possibilities, only to end in failure and disappointment. Part of the problem is education. We bought a tremendously helpful book called “Baby Bargains”, which while quite helpful is also quite bad because instead of looking at a crib and going “ooooh, this one looks so nice and cozy” or “Wow, I like the color of that finish”, we’re now saying things like “This one caused 23 children to die or break a leg last year because of defective parts” and “This one probably has toxic chemicals in the finish.”

Anyway, we shall persevere and hopefully get something done. I think we do have a new leader in the clubhouse, which just brings us to the question of will it actually get shipped and delivered on time. I’m sure there’ll be another post about the impossibility of inserting rail A into slot Z once the little bundle of pseudo-hardwood commerical happiness does arrive.

It is a difficult thing to reconcile one’s self to admitting that half of the pre-baby complication really has nothing to do with the baby and more to do with how we view ourselves. Frankly, the baby would probably be as happy sleeping in a $70 pack and play as any of the cribs. The baby likely doesn’t care if it’s breast or bottle fed, or if it wears cloth or disposable diapers. These decisions are more about making ourselves feel good about the results we thrust upon our little girl. This is both humbling and upsetting. I sometimes feel like I really would be a good person, if my ego would quit getting in the way. On the other hand, I’m glad that I recognize this. Being honest about why you want what you want is probably a good thing.

Anyway, enough philosophy from here on Walton’s Mountain. I promise some books are coming– including Molly Harper’s debut novel. It is still amazing to me that three of my peers and contemporaries have already published books, and a fourth is on the way, with Jerry Brewer’s new book (which promises to be wonderful) coming on September 1st.



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2 Responses to “Baby Class IV”

  1. Teresa Says:

    Don’t act like the Crib Gate isn’t exciting you. Every failed crib means another trip to Nashville, which means hot chicken. I know you’re secretly sabotaging every crib just to get hot chicken.

  2. Barbara C. Says:

    We didn’t buy our clothing rack–I mean crib–until our oldest was a few months old. Thanks to reflux she mostly slept on me or in her bouncer seat. Don’t underestimate the Pack ‘n’ Play option, especially for the first few months.

    Hot Chicken=another great band name!

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