My first pair of glasses and the Toronto Blue Jays

I was cleaning out a drawer the other day and found my first pair of glasses. While I’m generally a very non-vanity centered person, I could not bring myself to allow a picture of me in the glasses, so instead, I’m going to just tell you about them. These glasses have gigantic rims complete with the double wire on top, presumably to protect them from the ravages of late elementary and middle school. They’re the kind of glasses you couldn’t break if you tried. The main information I can impart is that my wife burst into laughter when I put them on, saying that they made me look like a 50 year old man.

I considered it a little more thoroughly and realized that they made me look like Tom Henke. If you weren’t a Toronto Blue Jays fan in the late 1980s and early 1990s, the name probably doesn’t mean much to you. Here’s an accompanying visual aid.

Despite looking vaguely like a mentally retarded McDonald’s worker, Henke spent several years blowing 90+ mile per hour fastballs past opposing hitters. He was known as “The Terminator”.

So basically when it put my glasses on, I look so mentally slow that I might not be able to find a pitcher’s mound, much less see from it, but I still think I project the ability to throw that speed ball right by you.

Incidentally, on looking up Henke’s biography, I learned that he is now, you guessed it, 50 years old. So maybe both my wife and I were right.

Joe

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2 Responses to “My first pair of glasses and the Toronto Blue Jays”

  1. Barbara C. Says:

    I’ve still got my first pair of glasses, too. I usually keep one pair previous as a back up and donate the rest to the Lyon’s club, but I couldn’t part with the first ones. They are also huge, but they also have the distinction of having bright blue rims. They totally completed my nerdiness despite the fact that they were designed by Benetton.

  2. eljoe1235 Says:

    At least you were shooting for the cool nerd look. Mine, well, frankly, I had to be pretty blind to pick those damn ugly things out.

    Joe

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